Cragmama "Not all who wander are lost…" JRR Tolkien

Potty Time at the Crag…

…Not to be  confused with “party time,” although getting through it successfully might  very well warrant a celebration!  After packing in (and out!) hundreds and perhaps maybe even thousands of diapers over the past several years, hiking into the crag big boy (or girl) style is a milestone every crag-parent is psyched about.  We’ve actually just recently dove into the potty training arena ourselves, and have been pleasantly surprised to find the transition at the crag happening quicker than we’d expected.  

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As a little background, I’m a firm believer that kids will hit developmental milestones when (and ONLY when) they are ready, whether it’s crawling, walking, sleeping independently, talking, potty, blah, blah, blah.  That being said, we have always taken the laidback approach when it comes to these sorts of developmental issues, some of which can be quite controversial, and all of which have been documented in countless parenting books.  Potty training was no different – we waited and watched for signs of readiness.  We did try once this past winter over Christmas break, but a random (yet surprisingly intense) fear of the potty kept us from making any progress, so we abandoned ship after just a couple of days.  There was no more mention of it until the beginning of the summer (a couple of months after he turned 3), when we made the switch straight  from cloth diapers to big boy undies for every activity other than sleeping.  After a few days of accidents and endless laundry, C caught on to number 1, and about a week later, we had the first successful number 2. 

My mom used to be a chemist at the wastewater treatment plant (and that’s only slightly cooler to tell people now than it was in 8th grade), and my dad and I always used to joke around that she was “Number 1 in the Number 2 business!”  I certainly make no such claims about myself – for C it happened at the right time for HIM, which may or may not be the right time for your  child.  I know plenty of kids that were potty-trained much younger than C, as well as plenty of kids that were in diapers much longer.  So please take the following logistical “techniques” with a grain of salt, and expect your mileage to vary.  (And if your still living in the indefinite diaper period, check out this archived post about crag diaper logistics.)

WATCH AND LEARN:  Bathroom etiquiette is different at the crag than it is at home.  Its just a fact of life, so talk to your child about it (it’s probably less awkward than other facts-of-life conversations that will happen later on down the road.)  Heart to heart convos aren’t necessary, but simple observations can make a lasting impression (ie, “See how Daddy is watering this tree?”)  Just as it’s important for your child to see you using the potty at home correctly, it’s also important for them to see you appropriately take care of business in the Great Outdoors as well.

When nature calls...

When nature calls…

BYOP (Bring Your Own Potty): Pooping in the woods is an art form that doesn’t develop overnight.  A portable potty can help ease the transition from diaper to potty to any of the interesting diagrams shown in this picture.  C’s modus operandi consists of several “false alarms” in the minutes (and sometimes hours!) before the official drop, so having a portable potty station for him to play near and get too quickly is essential.  The Potette was a life saver for us – it’s basically just a plastic ring with legs that pop out to make an instant potty!   It’s lightweight, cheap, and allows C to have something comfortable and familiar until he gets a little more predictable.  I obviously just have a boy, but my guess is that a portable potty like this would come in handy even more often with a little girl… The Potette comes with disposable liners to catch the waste, but we’ve never found those necessary – C likes the fact that he can place the potty wherever he wants and just go directly in the hole and onto the ground.  With number 2’s, you can either dig a cathole or use a wipe to pick it up and pack it out in a ziploc baggie.  A nice thing about the “pack it out” option is that you can set your potty station up closer to the action.  As a side note, it’s also worth mentioning that the legs can fold out to fit over an adult-sized toilet – perfect for small children who have a hard time securing themselves comfortably over a giant “hole.”

HAVE A BACKUP PLAN: Whether it’s cloth, disposables, pull-ups, or just 10 extra pairs of undies and shorts, make sure you’re prepared for accidents.  The last situation you’d want to be in is hiking out early (and frustrated) with a wet (or worse) child.  Those sort of “extras” add relatively little weight to your pack, but bring a lot of peace of mind. 

DON’T TAKE IT TOO SERIOUSLY:  At the end of the day, we’re talking about going to the bathroom in the woods here, not balancing chemical equations.  Take them outside often enough, and even the least enthusiastic of learners will eventually “get it.”  Ironically, C does SIGNIFICANTLY better pooping in the woods than he does pooping in the potty at home.  Go figure.  The phrase about no kid going off to college in diapers is obnoxious to hear, but I’m betting it’s still the truth.  

Who else has been through potty training in the woods and come out on the other side?  What tips and tricks have worked for YOUR family?  For those of you fast approaching this milestone, what will your strategy be?  

 

 

 

 

 

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The Lightner Familiy: Teenage Champion, and Urban Mama Turned Mountain Mama…(Sort of…)

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I’ve interviewed a lot of climbing families over the last couple of years, and all of them have had one thing in common – the kids learned from their parents…that is, until I interviewed the Lightners.  The story of university professor Constance Lightner and her 13 year old climbing champion Kai is as different as it is inspiring.  Kai has competed for  several years in both indoor sport climbing and bouldering, with a host of 1st place finishes at a national level.  In fact, just over a week ago he was crowned National Champion yet again at the USA Sport Climbing Series event in Atlanta!   But although he got his start on plastic, he’s slowly but surely been getting more and more mileage outside on real rock.  In fact, so far in 2013, Kai has sent four 5.14’s, including Southern Smoke (5.14c) at the Red River Gorge.  Kai’s accomplishments have not gone unnoticed either – each subsequent send was blasted over climbing social media websites everywhere, and before we knew it, a young man that was a household name on the indoor circuit began earning some street cred in the outdoor world!  

My first  connection with this unique family began loosely many years ago at Triangle Rock Club, which was our home gym at the time.  Connie would regularly drive Kai up from Fayetteville, NC, and the endearing coaching and encouragement she offered up while Kai was climbing was very memorable.  Not yet a parent at the time, I couldn’t help but smile as I watched their family dynamic.  But it wasn’t until a couple of months ago at the New River Rendezvous that I got a chance to officially introduce myself.  

It had been a couple of years since I’d last seen Kai, and like most adolescent boys, he’d done a whole lot of growing in the mean time, as he seemed at least a foot taller than I’d remembered him!  As he reached out to shake my hand, I noticed two things right away – first, that he shared his mama’s beautiful smile, and secondly, that he had arms that went on for days (seriously this kid’s ape index must be +5 or something!)   Though the rain had held off, sending conditions hadn’t been great that day, but you’d never have known it from talking to Kai – he was just psyched to be outside climbing with friends.  Connie, though also all smiles, was good-naturedly commenting about  the heat and humidity, and it suddenly dawned on me how unique the Lightners’ climbing journey has been from so many other families…

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You see, most climbing kids get it honest – they grow up with one or both parents that climb, and assume that weekends spent at the crag are how every family recreates.  Eventually there is a natural progression from observing at the base to actually climbing rocks.  But Kai’s’ story is different.  Where it came from, who knows, but it certainly wasn’t from Connie!  Connie affectionately remembers threatening  “KAI! Get Down!” from wherever he was, be it up a tree, on top of a basketball goal, or once even the outside of a 4th floor balcony!  At the suggestion of a friend, Connie finally relented and took him to a local climbing gym, and both were pleased – Kai could give in to his urges to climb, but in a safe, controlled environment.  

With regards to Kai’s ever-emerging talent, Connie says, “I think I was the last one to the party…People had commented on Kai’s abilities for a while, but I always downplayed it…Within the last year I have begun to realize that he has a real passion and talent for the sport.”  And Kai’s passion certainly takes a lot of commitment and sacrifice out of both of them.  According to Kai, he doesn’t end up with a lot of non-climbing time –  “It’s usually school, homework, working out, and climbing.  Luckily, I really love climbing and my climbing friends so I often get to mix training and fun time.”

Connie and Kai watching other climbers competing at the recent Ring of Fire competition

Connie and Kai watching other climbers competing at the recent Ring of Fire competition

But as hard as Kai works, most impressive to me as a mother are the sacrifices Connie makes for her son, namely time and money (“He gets all of both,” says Connie.)  Holding down a full-time job while being a single mom to a teenage boy is hard enough…now add to it 2-3 evening per week of training an elite athlete!  Not to mention that most weekends they go out of town to practice endurance and onsight training at other gyms.  Connie confessed that her biggest challenge was time – “I need 4-5 secret hours during the day that no one knows about!”  

Kai is quick to show appreciation for his mom’s important role in his success.  “My mother is always the one who gives the most motivation and support, whether it’s at a competition or on a climb that I’m having a hard time completing. She’s always the one who drives me to all my events and the one who hikes up the mountains with me, even when she doesn’t want to hike (which is all the time).”

Yeah, and speaking of hiking up mountains, now that Kai’s interests have gone outdoors, so has Connie, who is admittedly building up her “outdoor stamina.”  Previous years the family would spend only just two weekends per year outdoor climbing, but this year Kai and his mom have already logged 5 multi-day trips between the New and Red River Gorges. 

But despite the hardships and struggles, Connie wouldn’t have it any other way –  “I love watching his face and excitement when he achieves goals that he has set.  I must also admit that I love the really big hugs that he comes to give me immediately after untying from a successful climb.”  But that doesn’t mean she’s itching to tie in herself.  When I asked if she and Kai ever climbed together, the answer was an emphatic NO!  “Calluses and pumped forearms do not interest me,” said Connie, who’s professional climbing skills will apparently remain limited to belaying.  🙂

As for Kai and what’s next, the sky is really the limit!  I have no doubt that a young man as determined and focused as he is can achieve whatever he wants in life, both on and off the rock.  When asked what he wants to be when he grows up, Kai was quick to respond, “I either want to be a lawyer, like Michael Lamonsoff, or start a business in the climbing industry.  I know those are totally different paths, but I think I would enjoy both.  I love debating and speaking, but I would also enjoy combining my love for climbing with growing a business in the community.”  

For more info on Kai and his accomplishments, you can visit his website here, and/or check out this very well-written article about him in Deadpoint Magazine.  A big thanks to both Kai and Connie for giving me a glimpse into their not-so-stereotypical climbing life.  While it may look a lot different than my own, I love how climbing brings people together.  If you enjoyed the Lightners’ story, please leave them some love in the comments below.  

 

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Family Bike Day Along the New River Trail

My favorite boys riding side by side

My favorite boys riding side by side

Regular readers of this blog know we are big fans of the New River in our household.  During prime climbing season, the New River Gorge is like a second home, as we head up there almost every weekend.  But as wild and wonderful as the gorge is, the river itself is even bigger, extending down through Virginia and into western North Carolina.  Actually, I guess it’s more accurate to say that it extends UPWARDS into West Virginia, as the New is one of the few rivers of the world that flow north!  Anyway, one of the best parts about the Virginia section of the river is the 57 mile rails-to-trails system that makes up the New River Trail State Park.  

Though not often as we’d like, our family has been coming here for years – Steve used to make an annual “guys trip” with his buddies back when we first got married, and I’ve been on not one, but TWO Father/Daughter trips there.  Ironically however, Steve and I have never once biked the trail TOGETHER, and which of course means we’ve never been there with the cragkid.  So on a visit to the grandparents last weekend, we all decided the best way to celebrate our freedom was to take the New River Trail by storm…well I guess technically NOT by storm, as we managed to luck up in the rain department despite the sketchy forecast!

A happy little guy on the Ivanhoe Bridge

A happy little guy on the Ivanhoe Bridge

Logistically, we knew C would want to ride his own bike, but since he’d never ridden more than 3 miles under his own power, we also knew we’d need a plan B.  Amazingly enough, C’s balance bike stowed away perfectly in the “trunk” space of our bike trailer – perfect solution!  (It was sticking out a little bit, but was completely secure!)

We began our journey at the Foster Falls entrance, and rode through Austinville to Ivanhoe before stopping for a picnic lunch and backtracking out the way we came.  Our ride certainly wouldn’t break any land speed records – I think it took us almost 3 hours to cover a little more than 15 miles!  But what we lacked in efficiency we made up for in sentimental value.  C brought new meaning to the phrase, “stop and smell the roses.”  

We must have stopped at least 100 times if we stopped once.  Sometimes it was to look at flowers, bugs, or butterflies, other times to take an extra lap in a puddle.  Other times C needed to take care of water, food, or other “biological needs.”  When our rest stops began happening every 25 feet, we’d encourage C to give his legs a break and ride in the trailer for a while.  He would eventually agree (though begrudgingly), and after a few (nonstop) miles, he’d be ready to hit the road again…except for the home stretch, when his exhaustion got the better of him and he was down for the count!

Highlights for everyone included a giant tunnel and the Ivanhoe Trestle Bridge.  The tunnel was 135 feet of dark, cool, dampness, and to be honest, I was expecting C to be a little scared.  But both times he glided through with gusto, gleefully shouting about the impending puddles he saw waiting for him on the other side.  The bridge provided a great panorama of the river, framed by farmlands nestled amidst the Virginia foothills.  We even managed a family photo opp where everyone was looking and no one was making a weird face!  

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Our day was another lesson in learning to savor the journey more than the destination, as a 3 year old pace setter makes for a rather leisurely ride for us long-legged adults.  But that being said, no one minded one iota that he slowed things down.  I was so proud of my little dude for “keeping up” with us grown-ups!  After all, he’ll never get “in shape” to ride if we never let him ride, right?  Besides, our relaxing pace allowed for quality conversation, and proved once again that you don’t have to rack up an exorbitant amount of miles in order to find adventure.  With the right mindset, an ordinary day on the bike trail can turn into something extraordinary!  

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Cragmama T-Shirts Are Here!!!!!

Cragdad and Cragkid

Cragdad and Cragkid

It’s official – the moment you’ve all been waiting for!  (Well, I suppose that might be a little strong…but hopefully a few of you have been at least looking forward to it?)  After I got a lot of positive feedback from various social media outlets, along with some good old-fashioned word of mouth, I decided to move forward with the Cragmama t-shirt idea.  The idea was first planted in my head by David Lithman, owner of Adayak, an online clothing company specializing in outdoor lifestyle wear.  The goal at Adayak (a combination of the words “adventure” and “kayak”) is “to take the stories of your lifestyle and bring them to fashionable, eco-friendly apparel.”  

I am both thrilled and honored that Cragmama was chosen as a product line at Adayak.  There are currently six different options to choose from – men’s, women’s, and toddler tees, men’s and women’s hoodies, and of course, a onesie that will look adorable on all the cragbabies out there!  

Cragkid and Cragmama!

Cragkid and Cragmama!

And don’t forget that you don’t have to be a 5.12, 5.11, or even 5.10 climber to be a cragmama/dad.  Perhaps your content toproping at the local crag, or perhaps you don’t even climb at all!  Your passion might be on the water, ski slope, hiking trail, or bike path.  Or  maybe the biggest adventure for you right now is just logging some outdoor time as a family!   Simply put, Cragmamas and Crag-dads raise Cragbabies – again, not necessarily rock climbing prodigies, but explorers, naturalists, and ecologists.  

So if any of that describes you, I hope you’ll consider sharing your adventure parenting philosophy with the world by outfitting your family with some Cragmama-wear!  Whether it’s at the crag, on the trail, or even just at the grocery store, let’s promote an active lifestyle to a largely inactive society.  Let’s send a message that adventure doesn’t end where the family begins – it’s just getting started!

Secure, online ordering is easy on the Adayak website – just add whatever you want to your shopping cart and you’re good to go!  Oh, and if you make an order, PLEASE send me pictures of you and/or your family sporting your new threads!  And a big thanks in advance for all of your support!  

The whole Crag-Family!!!

The whole Crag-Family!!!

 

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Ever Thought About an Inflatable Kayak? Maybe You Should!

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This summer our family visited humbersport.net and added some new paddling gear to our already overflowing adventure closet!  Though our purchase was made on a whim after some extra writing gig money came in, the idea has been brewing for a long time – as in, since the pre-Cragbaby days.  Steve and I had always enjoyed paddling and kayaking in its various forms – we’d sea kayak using fishing kayak for two people in New Zealand, rafted numerous rivers including the Upper Gauley (with a guide), and even had an epic backcountry canoeing experience in the Everglades (probably SHOULD’ve had a guide…).  Our biggest deterrent was that we could never decide on what kind of boat we wanted – canoe or kayak, onesie or tandem?  Paddling friends would advise us to go with “all of the above,” which was obviously less than helpful.  Once the crag-kiddo came along our dreams of paddling adventures got put on the backburner for a while.

But now that we’re living in Charlotte, we’ve found a host of paddling options within a short drive from our house, so now that C is older, we started entertaining the idea again.  We were now faced with a new dilemma as far as what type of boat to buy.  We definitely wanted something that could transport the whole family, making either a canoe or tandem kayak a good choice.  But I also knew that just as much (if not more) or our time spent on the water would be just me and C, and I wasn’t too jazzed about heaving a heavy vessel up on top of my car by myself – but two smaller yaks were way out of our price range.

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That’s when I discovered the world of inflatable kayaks, recommended to me by some other outdoor bloggers who paddle as a family.  And lo and behold, we’d found the perfect floating vessel for our family – large enough for all, but compact enough to fit into my trunk (and it inflates in less than 5 minutes!)  I’m gonna go ahead and be honest and admit that we did NOT buy the brands that were recommended to us – not knowing how much use we’d get out of it, it was hard to justify the $800+ price tags of the fancy inflatable boats.  Instead, we went with the $200 option – every review we read made this boat seem well-qualified for our purposes (hanging out on a lake, with the occasional easy river).  It doesn’t have any bells and whistles, and I’m sure it doesn’t track as well as the nicer, more expensive boats, but the material seems very durable, and the price absolutely can’t be beat!  If we find that we’re really into it and are looking for more than our boat provides, we can always upgrade to a canoe or individual kayaks at some point down the road.  But for now, we’re all having a blast yakkin’ it up in the local waterways!

The whole thing packs up into a small duffel!

The whole thing packs up into a small duffel!

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Removable seats!

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